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People comes and goes in your life. That's the norm
Its real... the fear is real!

How much I blame myself for not wooing her hard enough.
For not being better..

My insecurities.. my incompetent is what ruin all these.

I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND
I WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND

Maybe I am overly attached...
I am weak.. brittle.. fragile..
not worth your time..

I dont even dare to send you this message:

tbh i am sadden and regretful by how things have escalated to this stage. Perhaps nothing of what I am going to say will change your views.. but i just had to let you know one last time how I feel. You do know how I feel for you.. maybe I would call it overly attached. I understand that  you are unsure of your feelings for me. I really don't mind because if time is what you need, I would gladly give it to you, all the time you need to understand me. But this "friendzone thing" or this REJECTION is painful. I know I should be a man and accept all these.. but I am made of flesh and blood, and emotions like this is simply unbearable. In my head there are full of "What ifs" simulation running.. What if i had done this differently.. But all these matter no more. I Guess.. But being the optimistic me, I glimpse for a tiny ray of hope.

I am confused.. I am lost... I am heartbroken..
the fact that you are no longer my dating partner...

How much time had i dreamed of cuddling you by my side..
but all of that is just a dream that will never be fulfilled....

How much time had i blamed my insecurities for ruining all these...
rushing things never worked - lesson learnt!

How much I wish there is a time machine which I could travel back in time...
to fix all those mistakes I made...

heartbroken... regrets... wisdom..



I have known this girl, who is bubbly, beautiful, can't cook, dependable, forgetful, genuine, happy-go-luck, humble, non-judgemental, patient, slightly indecisive, slothful, sincere, spontaneous. trustworthy

I won't say she is the most flawless girl out there, or the type of girl I would go for normally.
But my perception of "the type of girl I would normally go for" have changed because of her.
I felt myself and a senses of comfort whenever I was out with her.
There will also be this surge of positive energy when I converse with her.
I also feel that she could bring out the best in me.

But lately, that has changed.
She started replying later, and giving more excuses to not meet.
All these negativity tends to build up unhappiness in me.

Nonetheless, I still love her for who she is. 
She is the love of my life, my dear rachel
Because I know I can't live without you. 
I thirst for your attention and to be beside you. 
Only you can save me from this curse of mine - The curse of loving you.

this girl.. doubt you will see this anyway HAHA!
I am trying my best to revive my blog, but after some time i will get bored of blogging and simply just abandon it at one side.

Finally... the holidays are coming! Just have to get past 3-4 days of toughness to enjoy the aroma of freedom~
I really wanted to revise, but when i started using my computer... I kind of lost track of time.
Really must study POA/Econs ASAP
It has been some time since i last posted.
Anyway, just some stuff to update.... I got into "Changi Youth Ambassador" (Abv: CYA)
Also I am a volunteer for the Asian Youth Games (Abv: AYG)


Assignment to be completed:
ITAB PBL (GROUP)
Effective Communication CA10 (GROUP)
Econonics Revision
Statistic Revision
Itab Revision
Principal of Accounts Revision
MOB Revision
POA H/W
Econ H/W
Stats H/W

Chin Chang (梁晋彰)
17 official
Alumni of Canberra Sec
SP Student
DBA/01 - For 2 Consecutive years